How to Walk Together When You Have Different Walking Paces

A walk isn’t a speed test

When walking partners have different paces, the problem usually isn’t that someone is walking “the wrong way.” One person simply feels comfortable moving faster, while the other wants to take their time, talk, or walk according to how they’re feeling. If you don’t talk about it beforehand, the faster person may keep looking back and slowing down, while the slower person may feel rushed.

A good walk doesn’t require you to stay shoulder to shoulder at the same speed the whole way. All you need is a shared plan: where you’ll walk together, where you can split up briefly, and where you’ll meet again. That way, pace becomes something you agree on, not a competition.

A shared route matters more than a shared speed. You’re walking together even if you each cover part of the way at your own pace.

First, talk about your goal and how you’re feeling

Before you head out, talk about what each of you wants from the walk. One person may want to walk for longer, while the other wants to chat and take it easy. Say what you’re hoping for directly: “I’d like to walk briskly for part of the route,” or “I need an easy pace today.” That’s simpler than guessing based on who speeds up or goes quiet.

• Ask how much time and energy each of you wants to spend on the walk today.
• Choose a shared priority: talking, exploring an interesting place, moving at a brisk pace, or simply getting a change of scenery.
• Check whether there’s a reason to walk more slowly: tiredness, pain, uncomfortable shoes, heat, stairs, or needing to stop often.
• Agree that either of you can suggest a break or change the plan without having to explain yourself.
• Don’t treat your companion’s speed as a measure of how hard they’re trying: pace depends on the person, the route, and how they’re feeling.

That doesn’t mean one person should always slow down and the other should speed up. Instead, it helps to notice when walking together no longer feels comfortable and plan for other options in advance. If one of you wants to use the walk as a workout, talk about that separately: you can walk part of the way together and cover the rest at your own pace.

Three ways to stick to a shared plan

You don’t have to walk side by side the whole way. Choose an approach that works for your route and your relationship. You can start with one option and try another next time.

Looped stretches: return instead of waiting

Find a safe loop—for example, a path around a small square or a short loop in a park. Walk together to a convenient spot, then the faster person does an extra lap and returns to the same place. Meanwhile, the other person can walk more slowly, sit down, or look at something interesting—whatever you agreed on beforehand.

The key is to choose a short, clearly visible, safe stretch without tricky crossings. Don’t send your companion off alone on an unfamiliar route where it’s easy to miss each other. If the loop doesn’t come back around or you might lose phone reception, pick a specific side of the path, a bench, or an entrance—not just “let’s meet somewhere by the park.”

Meeting points: each person walks at their own pace

If your route is one-way, choose easy-to-spot landmarks in advance: a park entrance, bridge, square, or bench. Agree that the faster person can walk ahead but will stop and wait at the agreed meeting point. The slower person shouldn’t have to speed up to catch up, and the faster person shouldn’t have to keep looking back and wondering where their companion is.

Choose meeting points where it’s safe to stop and easy to start walking together again. On a busy street, it’s better to stay together before a crossing and cross as a pair. If the route includes areas with poor visibility, stairs, or narrow paths, walk those parts together and choose a calmer stretch for walking at different paces.

Take turns leading: let both of you choose the route

Sometimes the difference in pace isn’t just about speed. It can also happen because one person is always leading: choosing turns, deciding where to stop, and setting the rhythm. Take turns being the leader. The person leading chooses the next stretch and sets a pace that feels comfortable to them; the other person doesn’t judge their stride or push them to go faster.

1. At the start, choose a simple shared goal—for example, getting to the park or doing a loop on a familiar path.
2. Let the first person lead to a landmark you’ve chosen in advance.
3. At the meeting point, check whether you both feel comfortable continuing at that pace.
4. Hand the lead to the other person: now they choose the next stretch or a short break.
5. If either of you starts to feel uncomfortable, don’t wait for your turn—talk about taking a break or changing the plan right away.

How to choose a route that keeps you together and comfortable

For your first walk at different paces, choose a familiar place with clear landmarks, a few options for shortening the route, and places to stop. That’s more practical than planning a long route through unfamiliar streets right away. If one of you wants to walk faster, a loop or an out-and-back route is usually easier than a complicated series of turns.

• Check that you can safely split up for a stretch and meet again.
• Choose landmarks that are easy to recognize, rather than vague plans like “by the big tree.”
• Leave the option to finish early or shorten the route.
• Consider the surface, crossings, hills, lighting, and places to sit down.
• If you’re walking with a dog, stroller, or cane, choose a route that works for both of you, not just the faster person.

If you’re walking side by side, try not to crowd each other or make your companion adjust their stride. You can walk parallel to each other, talk, and look at one another from time to time. If one person keeps speeding up or slowing down, try loops or meeting points instead of trying to synchronize your steps.

The pace should feel comfortable for each of you

A comfortable pace isn’t necessarily the average of two people’s speeds. If a compromise means one person is constantly straining while the other has to hold back, it isn’t really a compromise. It’s better to split the walk into parts: start and finish together at an easy pace, with a loop or a stretch at different paces in between.

A small study with 34 young, sedentary adults tested different speeds around each person’s individually preferred pace. The researchers noted changes in physiological and movement-related measures as speed changed. The sample was small and specific, so the results don’t set a required pace for everyone. They support a cautious principle: don’t assume one number works for everyone, and pay attention to how you feel.

If one of you wants a workout and the other wants a stroll

Sometimes your goals really are different: one of you wants to walk briskly, while the other wants to stroll and chat. You don’t have to pretend it’s the same activity. Walk together to a convenient spot, split up for part of the route, and meet again at the end. The faster person can do an extra loop; the other can take a shorter route.

If one of you wants to get a specific workout, don’t promise that a walk together will automatically replace an individual training session. Research on pairs walking together shows that walking together can change both people’s speed, but it doesn’t establish what pace will be enough for a particular person. Talk about your goal in advance, and don’t turn your companion into a personal pace tracker.

Frequently asked questions

Try agreeing on one simple plan for your next walk: start together, choose a clear meeting point, and switch paces without pushing each other. If it worked for both of you, keep using it. If not, change the route—not your opinion of each other.